Must Trust be Earned?

pediatricprofiler:

Robert Whipple writes about businesses. His message, however, applies equally well to parenting and teaching.
Children are born wanting love, acceptance, and respect. The rest we have to teach them. And to teach them we have to engage them and then prove to them that they can trust us.
In my practice I hear and witness numerous examples where this does not take place. I have had parents and professionals tell me that they won’t show a child or adolescent respect until they show respect first. But where are our children and adolescents supposed to learn what respect feels and looks like? They have to trust that the adults around them will demonstrate it repeatedly so that they have a model to follow.
Look at the 10 examples of trust that Mr. Whipple has listed. Can you state without exception that you demonstrate these types of trust to the children and adolescents in your life on a daily basis? Would they agree?
I would like to challenge you for the next week to keep track of these 10 examples of trust in your interactions with children and adolescents in your care of for whom you are providing services (teaching, counseling, etc.). After each encounter, go down the checklist and check off if you demonstrated the examples. If not, why? At the end of the week, reflect on how your relationship with that child (or those children) has gone. If you began to change your approach based on how you rated the earlier encounters, did the response from the child appear to change in any way? Good or bad?
Let me know how it turns out. If you are still struggling maybe I could help you via coaching.
Looking forward to hearing from you at the end of the week.

Originally posted on :

earn I start out all my trust seminars by asking the audience to define trust. I enjoy watching the faces of the people as they wrestle with the challenge.

Clearly, trust is a word that we all use on a daily basis. We all know what it means, in general, but we have not stopped to try to come up with a precise definition.

It’s kind of like what Justice Potter Stewart once said about hard-core pornography, “It’s hard to define, but I know it when I see it.”

Just because someone will look it up if I don’t, Webster has numerous definitions for trust, the first one is about “assured reliance.”

Ultimately, after a few awkward moments, people start to spill out various definitions. I frequently get 15 or 20 different definitions from the group.

We then explore the idea that trust, while the phenomenon is well known to us…

View original 858 more words

Changes to Autism Spectrum Disorder in DSM-5 | Psych Congress Network

See on Scoop.itDevelopmental & Behavioral Challenges in Children

Dr. Pat McGuire‘s insight:

Here is a short but clear explanation of how the changes in the DSM 5 for autism spectrum disorders came to be.  I know personally that there had been many problems in terms of services under the previous definition, which will no longer be a problem since the disorder is no longer splintered into subdiagnoses.  How about you?  Have you seen any changes in service provision with the changes?

See on www.psychcongress.com

This Could Be the Most Underrated Tactic for Boosting Employee Morale

See on Scoop.itDevelopmental & Behavioral Challenges in Children

Forget the advice about incentives, team activities, and bonuses. There’s a much simpler way to perk up the mood in the office.

Dr. Pat McGuire‘s insight:

This article may  have been written about the workplace but it is every bit as relevant when working with children.

 

Children respond very positively to understanding and compassion.  They get scared, defensive, and oppositional when they feel like they are always on the hot seat.

 

But of course, teachers need to also receive the same compassionate love in order to do their jobs well.  Let’s share some today.

See on www.inc.com

Falling on Deaf Ears: Why Millennials Don’t Do What You Tell Them to Do | Eric Chester

See on Scoop.itDevelopmental & Behavioral Challenges in Children

The era that permitted a boss to say to employees

Dr. Pat McGuire‘s insight:

This is a great example of how bad it has gotten in the world.  As the author states, adults can no longer have a double standard with children. And yet, I see it every day.  Children that tell me about their parents swearing in front of them but they get in trouble for doing the same.  Teachers, and at times principals, who yell at kids, call them names, all in front of their peers.  But these kids can’t do the same to the teachers or principals.

 

It is well known that children learn from the adults and the more they experience this behavior, the more it appears as the appropiate way to act. As a nation we need to learn how to develop appropriate methods of talking and acting.

 

We need to acknowledge that children don’t have those skills without direct instruction.  We also need to realize that that children don’t have the cognitive skills to think before they act because the neural pathways haven’t been developed.  They are frequently stuck in their limbic system (where fight or flight lives) with no direct link to their frontal lobe (think before act).

 

There are many good strategies to help children develop the skills needed to be respectful, responsible adults.  We need to start using them.

See on ericchester.com

Cognition and behavior: Brain symmetry atypical in autism — SFARI.org – Simons Foundation Autism Research Initiative

See on Scoop.itDevelopmental & Behavioral Challenges in Children

Dr. Pat McGuire‘s insight:

The studies of the brains of individuals in the autism spectrum compared to those without autism are fascinating.  The hard part, however, is that those with autism tend to use language to try to process life since that is what the rest of us do, but they struggle so much with it that they become overwhelmed very  easily. This is why linking visuals with language is so important.

See on sfari.org

Direct Evidence that Autism Starts During Prenatal Development

See on Scoop.itDevelopmental & Behavioral Challenges in Children

Researchers say they’ve found clear and direct evidence that autism begins during prenatal brain development. Video courtesy UC-San Diego Health System.

A

Dr. Pat McGuire‘s insight:

All I can say is "wow".  This type of research was done years ago looking at dyslexia which revealed many problems with development of the brain in the areas needed for phonemic and phonologic awareness (awareness of sounds in language and how they can manipulate sounds to communicate information.

 

I look forward to further research on this to reinforce the need to address red flag signs early.

See on www.autismspeaks.org

Repetitive behavior in toddlers may signal autism — SFARI.org – Simons Foundation Autism Research Initiative

See on Scoop.itDevelopmental & Behavioral Challenges in Children

Dr. Pat McGuire‘s insight:

As parents continually worry about whether their child could be in the autism spectrum, there is a need to be able to distinguish between what is normal for each developmental age and what is beyond the range of normal.

 

This study is a great step in helping to create those tools and benchmarks as to what is normal and what is a red flag for concerns. Once concerns  have been noted, then systems of teaching the needed skills can begin (early intervention).

See on sfari.org