I just made a decision this week not to interview with a medical clinic in Wisconsin. If I had gotten the position I would have been able
to move up there to be with my husband sooner. But my gut kept saying that this was the wrong path to follow and there were many signs that kept popping up to reinforce that feeling. The most blatant one was that they couldn’t confirm which of two days they were going to see me on, after having 6 weeks to come to that determination. This was with less than one week to go before I drove the 7 hours to see them.
Now, they are not a bad clinic and in fact are very respected in the state. But they were very staid and status quo and I have found out after a lifetime in this business that flexibility and the willingness to draw outside of the lines are needed for some changes to occur. This is what makes me a poor company person. This is why I have gotten in trouble with some other healthcare providers, many parents, and many, many schools over the decades. This is why I have done better being a solo physician, hiring people to be around me who understand, like I do, that life is more full of questions than answers.
As a pediatric profiler, my purpose is to fully (or as fully as possible) describe a child in order to help him/her find a life that accepts, respects, and loves him/her. I use what I have learned about the child to explain to adults the “whys” of behavior, the “whys” of academic output problems, and the “whys” of social-emotional struggles. I provide recommendations on how to help the child succeed, the support needed, and the interventions needed.
I find, however, that my way of working with children is heretical to many. I am trying to tell them that not all that a child does is intentional. That not all choices they make are based on the facts that we, adults would use. That children need more direct, supportive instruction, modeling, and constructive feedback for what are considered normal development skills. But somehow this doesn’t fly with many adults. They tell me that it is okay to assume that a kindergartener with a history of wetting accidents should be forced to sit in her wet clothes since she should know better than to wet her pants and she is being lazy or manipulative. And that if that same child has a temper tantrum because she is not allowed to change her wet pants, she should be sent to the office to be punished for her misbehavior.
Like I said, I am not a company person. I don’t play well with others when they won’t look beyond the surface of life to understand how it all fits together. But I am happy with my choice. Even if it means it will take a little bit longer before I get to join my husband in Wisconsin.